Topic: John Kerry's Campaign Schedule
John Kerry's Campaign Schedule #1
6:30am Awake to the cheerful sounds of Air America Radio
6:40am Change bed sheet before Teresa finds wet spot
6:50am Scrub face and neck with baby wipes, unless it's Tuesday (shower day)
7:00am Mix raisins, milk and Kitten Chow. Enjoy breakfast
7:30am Call Algore for pep talk
7:45am Ring bell for limo driver
7:50am Ring bell for Mexican limo driver
8:10am Arrive for 8:00 interview with the New York Times
9:00am Visit local veterans cemetery. Spit on a few graves. Leave
10:00am Apologize for spitting on graves. Promise never to do it again
11:00am Visit local veterans cemetery. Spit on graves again
11:30am Order small tofu/carrot pizza. Eat lunch
12:00pm Drive around for a while. Look for safe place to purge. (Gotta keep the weight down)
1:00pm Make surprise visit at daycare center. Kiss a few babies
2:00pm Arrive at Airport
3:00pm Listen to motivational tape. Take a nap
3:45pm Write letter to KerryCore.com and complain about ass kicking Kerry receives everyday from the right-wing idiots at MetroSpy
4:30pm Review campaign events with staff
4:35pm Scratch volunteer on back of the neck for falling asleep during important talk
4:37pm Pop puss filled Botox-pimple and wipe leakage from forehead
5:00pm Airplane lands
6:40pm Arrive for 6:30 speech
7:00pm ...speaking
9:00pm ...still speaking
11:22pm speech finally ends but still speaking
11:30pm Carried off stage by staff
12:00am Delivered to hotel by Marvin Nicholson. Checked in. Put to bed
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